Posted in Blog, Daughter, Featured, Friends, Mother, Rebecca, Wife, Woman

I don’t have time to ______.

Like many of you, the Connecticut shootings have left me speechless, broken-hearted, and sad. I’ve been watching the debates about gun control and mental illness pop up. Stones are already being thrown and fingers are being pointed. What is to blame? The only answer I know is Evil. And Evil might have won that battle, but in the end Love will win the war. 

It has made me think. Is my son safe at school? Are we safe anywhere? The mall, schools, the theatre. I truly don’t know. I know my hope and trust is in God and I just move forward the best that I can.

I’ve read many blogs posts about the shooting. I know it’s made us all think. It’s made us hug our loved ones a little harder, a little longer. Maybe it’s made us reconcile with someone we cast aside. Or maybe it’s caused us to think about what’s truly important. This is just my 2 cents, but here is where I’m at.

I titled this “I don’t have time to _____.” Fill in the blank. What are you always saying you don’t have time to do? I’m a Mom and my life is busy. It’s not jam packed with important things every second of the day. I only have one child. I’m less busy than Moms of 2+. However, I still say I don’t have time ALL THE TIME.  Ha.DSC_2687

I don’t have time to workout. I don’t have time to cook. I don’t have time to play with you. I don’t have time for date nights. I don’t have time to go skiing.

I could list 100 things I feel like I “don’t have time” for. But this has hit me like a tidal wave. It’s not ok anymore to use this excuse. I do have time. I do have time to play with my son. I do have time to take care of myself. I do have time to make and take someone dinner. I do have time to listen to a friend in need or visit the sick.

Every moment is a choice. And I DO have the time.

You know who doesn’t have time? Our friend who died in an avalanche this past February skiing on the mountain he loved with his best friends. His time is done. He doesn’t have time to have kids or get married. The Christmas before he died, he had invited my husband and I to come stay at his house in Leavenworth for a few days. Hang out, ski, eat, have fun. And you know what? We didn’t go. We didn’t “have the time.”

And my friend that died unexpectedly from breast cancer the doctors told her was all gone. She doesn’t have the time. She doesn’t get the time to watch her grandkids play or see new ones born. Or continue her lifetime legacy of helping inmates avoid going back to jail and make a new life for themselves.

And the sweet Mom from my church who died from a drug overdose and left a 15 year old boy here.

Then there are the 26 beautiful souls that left this world last Friday. Oh God, I can’t fathom to think of the 20 children and the lives they could have lived.  Or the teachers?

I don’t know why I’ve lost people close to me this year. I don’t know why those kids had to die. I don’t know why some people die tragically and other’s lead a full long life. But I do believe when things like this happen, it’s good to take a step back and look at our perspective. Am I on the path I should be on?

What am I putting off? What am I waiting for? What am I avoiding?

Life happens NOW. My life is happening today and all I have is this moment. What am I choosing?

I know I waste time. I know I make some bad choices. I know I put things off. I make excuses. I tell friends I am busy. I don’t play with my son because I want to finish a book. We don’t go camping because I didn’t take the time to plan it. Or we didn’t go kick the ball around at the park because I’m tired.

I know I’m never going to be perfect. I’m never going to make the right choices 100% of the time. But I do commit from this day forward and in 2013 that I will strive for fewer excuses. I will strive to seize more opportunities.

I will make the time to be, do and see what’s important to me and my family.

And you know what? Some of you need to get up off your ass and start living. Get wild and live your purpose. Make a difference. Jump in and make some waves. Do what your heart has always been yearning to do. Tell your insecurities and doubts to shut up and go live your life. Be bold, be courageous. Be heard.

 

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