Posted in Blog, Breastfeeding, Emma, Featured, Friends, Mother

So, turns out I’m kind of a jerk

A little while ago I wrote a post about breastfeeding in which I told you all that I quit PEPS without much explanation. Like the selfish only child I am, I didn’t for one second consider how many of you read this blog and how that might reflect on PEPS.  

Then, a nice lady at PEPS wrote me an email because she saw my post and asked if I could give her some feedback. And then I realized what a jerk I am. I am such a jerk.

I am also a vehement supporter of nursing in public – any way a mama chooses – and didn’t feel that that was supported by my PEPS leader. But dictating the way a mother nurses her baby is far from PEPS’ mission and is not part of their program. Straight from the horse’s mouth, “We really want all parents to feel welcome in a PEPS Group and our mission is to get parents together to share information and provide support to one another, so anything we can do to improve that is important to us!”

For a long time, I had issues with feeding my baby. Anyone who has had trouble feeding their baby, regardless the reason, will tell you that it makes you crazy. At a time when I needed enthusiastic, unconditional support and encouragement in what felt like the impossible task of getting milk into my baby, I didn’t get it in my particular PEPS group. But that was as much my own perception and sensitivity as it was anything that happened in the group. I ended up not continuing PEPS for several reasons. We just weren’t a good match.

Let me be clear. PEPS is rad. I have recommended PEPS to every single client I have ever worked with and I have never had anyone tell me they didn’t love it. Parents meet other parents in PEPS that come to be their best friends. There are PEPS groups with teenagers who are still regularly meeting. Let me say it here, on the record, if you have a baby, you should do PEPS.

I’m sorry, PEPS. 

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  1. graziellaghound says:

    I find it interesting about the whole PEPS thing honestly. My husband and I joined a newborn PEPS group. I was the driving force behind it and chose a couples group so we could meet other parents and especially for my husband to meet other dads so he didn’t feel so alone in the whole parenting process. Honestly, though I too think it’s a nice thing, for me personally it was a bit of a disappointment.

    I naively thought that being in Seattle I’d naturally meet other mom’s with a similar parenting style to ours easily. Exclusive breastfeeding (no pumping/bottle feeding/formula supplementing…) and in my PEPS group is was the only one doing the exclusive breast feeing, the only stay at home mom, the only mom doing… anything “natural” or “instinctual” or non-main-stream. Call it what you will, my PEPS group made me feel very isolated and unsupported because everyone else was doing things WAY differently that we are. I just wish that we had been placed in a group that we had more in common with or that would have been just as supportive of our parenting style as everyone else’s.

  2. Thank you so much for retracting your statement. I am a many-time PEPS group leader and am so sorry that you felt unsupported in your group. The first few months of parenting is an extremely stressful and isolating experience, it is PEPS mission to help mitigate that difficulty and bring people by neighborhoods together to support each other. Our role as group leaders is to facilitate community and group support. Please give PEPS another chance if you have another child, programs like Little Peppers and Second Time Around are available to second-timers.

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