Posted in Authors, Blog, Featured, Friends, Just for you, Life as a mom, Mother, Shawna, Woman

Mom is NEVER enough

Lately, I feel like every inch of popular culture is out to get moms. To sensationalize the way we parent, question our choices, and inevitably, turn us against each other.

Whether it’s a political molehill coaxed into a mountain by both sides, a decaying magazine objectifying attachment parenting, or all of the men who made the primary about our reproductive choices, the thing that makes me maddest of all is our reaction.

When they attack us, we moms always take the bait. We strike out against other women and we entrench like hell. And honestly, ladies, don’t we have enough to do, whether we work an 80- 90- or 100-hour workweek? It’s really not my business whether Ann Romney worked hard as a mom, or whether Jamie Lynne Grumet should still be nursing her 3-year-old. Should I really be gawking at some poor teen mom, or some woman who really didn’t know she was pregnant until she pushed out the baby?

Honestly, we should be giving props to anyone who has the guts to publicly discuss any aspect of her mothering style in this culture of vultures. We should be linking arms against those who try to push us down out of boredom, anger or self-promotion. Against those who have no interest in seeing who we are, hearing what we say, or valuing what we do.

We are right to be mad as hell. It’s demeaning that we always find our sacrifices and struggles reduced to a talking point, a punch line, a quick pitstop on the road to bigger things.

Mothering isn’t something that’s done on the margins of society, our choices some subversive act worthy of ridicule. It’s offensive that once the fine-tooth comb finishes sweeping over all of our flaws, the focus immediately shifts to somebody else’s “baby bump,” public nursing snafu or how weird it is that January Jones ingested her placenta.

Um, guys, while we’re on the topic of whether mothering is real work, could we talk about how few women receive compensation while on maternity leave? Or why our maternal death rates are higher than Bulgaria’s? Hello? Guys? 

Motherhood is wrenching and glorious and mothers are complicated, nuanced beings. What we’re doing is worthy of serious consideration even if you think you might disagree with us. Especially if you think you might disagree with us. The next time I see another woman’s mothering style being used as a sacrificial lamb to some lesser cause, even if her parenting style is the polar opposite of my own, I’m speaking up.

It’s not funny, it’s not freakish and I don’t care of she’s an M you’d LF. She’s worth more than that. We all are.

 

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  1. Katy Moeller says:

    Well said, and what a great photo of you and your little one!

  2. Kelly Peterson says:

    Beautiful, articulate, and wise.
    There are so many meaningful discussions as should be having about motherhood (um, guys?), and yet how easily we are distracted. There’s a reason for the phrase “divide and conquer” — and it is so sad we allow ourselves to fall for that.

  3. Niki Forbing-Orr says:

    Well said, Shawna!

  4. RIGHT ON, SISTER.

  5. Beautifully said, Shawna… I couldn’t agree more!

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