Posted in Blog, Emotional wellness, Featured, House and home, Life as a mom, Mother, Rebecca, Wife, Woman

Leaving my son for the first time

In less than 2 weeks, I will be leaving on a business trip for a week. And I’m going alone.

I’m already having anxiety about this trip. I’ve been away from my son for a few hours during the day, a few date nights, but never even had an entire night away from him. I know HE will be fine, it’s me I’m concerned about.

I knew this day would come, I was just surprised it had come so soon. It did come abruptly as this wasn’t planned. We were all supposed to go on this trip together. Now, things have changed and I’m not handling change well right now.

I’ve always loved changed. Mainly, growing up moving a thousand times forced change on me. It forced me to adapt quickly to new situations and new environments. Now for the first time since being with my husband (7 years), he is working full time outside the home. And in 2 weeks, I will leave for an entire week by myself. (ok, so this is not all that big of a deal for some people, I know.)

Yesterday, I found myself feeling a little lost. My husband and I usually eat 3 meals a day together. We chat randomly throughout the day about work stuff, news, and life at home. He’s my constant companion, my best friend. Now when I put my son down for a nap, it’s not only quiet in the house but it’s SUPER quiet. There’s no energy downstairs in my husband’s office, no phone ringing, no sounds of typing.

I guess I’m partially mourning my husband being gone during the day now. It’s an exciting opportunity and it’s whats right for our family right now too. But I sure miss him. I knew every day that I had with him at home was a blessing and I always tried to remember that.

I wonder how far I will get on the plane before I lose it. I’m expecting it, yeah. Who knows? Maybe I will be focused on my trip so much that I’ll be distracted. Or not. I’m this kid’s full time Mama, full time best buddy, and I can’t get through a day without showering him with a thousand kisses.

It will certainly be a week of growth. A week of being tested. Not only will it take me to the limits because of missing my son, but I’m also taking over a project for my husband that week. A project I’ve NEVER done by myself. Thank God for support of amazing people. I know I can do it, it’s just scary as heck when I think about it.

I will be fine, right? Not sure if this post was more about me missing my husband or missing my son….probably both.

 

Rebecca is the founder of Moms Alive. In addition to writing, she loves to be with her 2 yr old and husband and they enjoy spending time outside, going on drives, and just hanging out. She loves to cook, take photos, and try new things.

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  1. Kathryn F says:

    That’s a big transition, really big. Reintegrating my husband into our home life when he came back from the middle east was a huge transition for me and Owen (and although these things seem like opposite experiences, the life change is similar). It took a couple of months to figure things out and settle into a new life rhythm. And there were times during those months that were really tough. But we came through it and life is now pretty lovely. Soon it will feel normal to have a quiet house during naps (you may even come to really enjoy it), to hardly be able to wait until hubby walks in the door so you can share what happened during each others’ days. In some ways, it really makes you appreciate your spouse even more because it reminds you how much you enjoy their company.

    As for your week away from little Magnus, it will probably be tough especially since it is happening during this time of transition and new responsibilities. My guess is that you will find yourself mentally going over his routine in your head (i.e. you’ll be in a meeting and you’ll be thinking “I bet right now kiddo is having lunch or at the playground or taking a nap”). When I’ve had time away from Owen, that is what happens. However, I also try to luxuriate in having time all to myself and deciding what I want to do independent of what my two-year-old wants to do. Find some fun things to do wherever you are going for the trip that you just couldn’t enjoy as much with a two-year-old along. I find that having some alone time makes me remember how much I am enjoying being the mom of a two-year-old.

  2. Thanks Kathryn. That’s good advice! I might just email you or call you next week when I’m gone if I need some encouragement. I almost started bawling last night just thinking about leaving. I know it will be ok though.

    This week has been a lot easier on all of us with Daddy at work. Well, Daddy is having a harder time transitioning now because he’s exhausted. But we are doing great.

    ps. I miss you guys.

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