Posted in Blog, Emotional wellness, Featured, Friends, Life as a mom, Mother, Rebecca, Woman

The book I wanna write

As time goes by I am refining more and more what I want the purpose of this site to be. It’s fun to get out of the house and go shopping. It’s great to go to supportive classes. And all that other stuff. As I talk to more Moms I meet every day, I’m troubled by what I hear. How can so many Moms feel lost and overwhelmed when it seems like there is a “how to” book out there covering practically everything?

I know first hand that when it comes to a topic such as sleep, advice IS very much needed sometimes. Breastfeeding is another good example. I don’t think I’ve met a Mom that never had a problem breastfeeding or never needed help. So I am NOT saying that help is not necessary and that everyone should just figure out everything on their own.

BUT……..

I have noticed that because of this abundance of “advice and information” out there on the Web and in the bookstores, that Moms often don’t know what to listen to, don’t know where to turn. It seems like anyone can write a book that says they are an expert. Sometimes I’ve seriously wondered if some authors have even been a parent. LOL.

I know I’ve personally felt “guilty” or “bad” for doing something a certain way, when I’ve heard or read differently. But in the end, I always follow my instincts as  Mom and things have worked out. I’ve felt pressure for my son to sleep a certain way for a certain timeframe. Eat a certain way. Play a certain way. I’ve over analyzed and probably met my personal quota for Google searches. (if there was such a thing.)

What I WISH and HOPE I could wave my magic wand to create right now is a way to ease the stress of the journey for first time Moms. Now I look back on my last year with my son and I can laugh but sometimes it’s really sad to think about too. I felt all this unnecessary guilt and even condemnation for doing things a certain way…or not doing things. Am I doing this right? Am I doing that right? Well this book says this, and this expert says that.

I wish I could help Moms….
– relax more
– chill out
– trust yourself
– trust your baby
– use common sense
– don’t let the experts tell you how to raise your baby
– realize YOU are the best parent for your child, not someone who wrote a book but has never met you or your baby
– everything will work out in time
– no problem is too great that you can’t bear or handle
– no challenge will last forever
– problems don’t really last as long as they seem
– friends with kids the same age are an absolute necessity for fellowship and encouragement
– you don’t have to listen to negative advice from friends and family, stand your ground on your beliefs
– there is no “correct” way to do a lot of things
– there are lots of solutions to every problem
– help is only a request away
– put your parenting books away and just parent
– what your baby needs most is your love and acceptance, not a sleep program
– your baby needs an environment of joy, peace, and happiness
– have fun every day
– we are all here in support of one another
– there is a wide range of normal when it comes to your baby’s habits

you are totally qualified for this journey.

Again, I am not saying that Moms don’t ever need help or advice. Help is necessary in a lot of situations. Please get the ESSENCE of what I’m saying.

It really gets me fired up to hear of Moms struggling with this stuff. Where are your friends and family? And what the heck are they doing if they are not encouraging you? Every woman deserves quality friends that will uplift and encourage you. If you don’t have any of those, then find them. They may be like diamonds in the rough, but they do exist.

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