Apr 5, 2011

Posted by in Blog, Emotional wellness, Featured, Life as a mom, Mother, Rebecca

Do Moms have an off switch?

It’s hard to find ways to relax and unwind, at least for me it is. When my son was just a few months old, I remember the first few times that I got out of the house alone. It was for the purpose of relaxing, but I wasn’t doing much relaxing. I just went to Barnes and Noble for a few hours to read a book and hopefully turn my mind off. But Noooooo….

What was I thinking about? Is the baby ok? What if he cries and Daddy doesn’t know how to soothe him? What if there is an accident? What if this? What if that? Come on Mama! The baby was fine. He was in the hands of his very capable and intelligent Daddy. Relax. But I couldn’t. I didn’t know to to turn off. I couldn’t just dive into a novel for 2 hours and leave my life of spit up and blowouts behind.

And then there was a crying baby at the bookstore. I heard from a zillion miles away. Why was the baby crying? Was he hungry? Tired? Awwww, he was so cute. I miss my baby now!

Arrrrrgggghhhhh…..I can’t seem to escape for 5 minutes!

Then there was the time a few months later, I got out with some friends to go see the new Twilight movie. I put the baby to bed and took off alone into the night to meet them at the theatre downtown. Yay, I was ALONE!!!!! And for sure I would be able to turn off my Mommy brain to watch a vampire movie.

I was wrong. You are not gonna believe this. At an 11:00pm showing of Eclipse, there was a couple with a BRAND NEW BABY in the back row. I was sitting in the second to last row. I saw them walk in and wondered why they were there. Really? You brought your newborn to a vampire movie? Judgements aside, I was starting to feel like I was never going to fully escape Mommyhood, even just for a 2 hr movie.

Something everywhere reminded me of my job, of who I was. A Mom. We don’t have an OFF switch, not even for a moment. I thought for a while it was a curse. If I was getting out even just for a bit, I wanted to be able to feel free. Free of responsibility. Free of duty. Free of concern. But here’s the thing…..

That will never happen. I’m a MOM! It’s who I AM, not a hat I wear. I’m a Mom wherever I go and I feel and think of anything and everything that concerns being a Mom. As Mothers, this is why we all connect so easily and deeply. We all have this gift. Our maternal love and responsibility is not just towards our own kids, it’s towards all kids. We all share the same burden of mothering and we all share the same joys.

For some reason, just surrendering to this has brought me so much peace about it.

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  1. Oh, yeah, this rings true. I find myself alone in the car saying “Look! A garbage truck!”

  2. Rebecca says:

    hahahaha…that’s funny.

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