Posted in Blog, Family life, Featured, Just for you, Life as a mom, Mother, Rebecca, Wife, Woman

No second baby for me….just yet

I wasn’t sure how close together I’d have my kids. We planned on having more than one for sure. I didn’t want to raise an only child. I grew up with 2 older brothers and although they were buddies, I still loved having siblings. I want to have at least one more kid so mine has a buddy. That way, no matter where we live, close to other people or not…then my kids have a playmate.

It wasn’t until my son was a few months old that one day my Dad started asking me, “So when is Magnus gonna have a buddy?” Ummmm, what Dad? Really? He’s only a few months old. I’m not even THINKING of what’s next. That day though, after hearing this question a zillion times, I asked my hubby about it.

“So when did we want to start trying for another baby? How close did we want our kids to be in age?” He was sure shocked I was even asking. (but I told him it wasn’t MY idea. LOL)

We talked a bunch that day about it. Benefits of waiting versus having 2 kids close together. Then it hit me. If I could just have my kids close together, it would be hard for a while and a little crazy, but then it would be over. I could get my body back finally. I would be done with diapers once and for all.

We actually decided that day that we’d having our next one so that they were both about 16 months apart…or so. If it was 2 yrs distance, that would be fine too. I realized that I’d need to pregnant around the time my son was 6 months (give or take). Whew. Can’t believe we decided on that so quickly. It made so much sense though.

……….fast forward to today.

My son is almost 21 months and I am no where close to being pregnant. Not because we’ve tried and it hasn’t happened. It just hasn’t been right. I’ve watched as a few of my friends have now become pregnant with their second. I congratulate them excitedly, then secretly feel jealous wishing it was me.

In many ways, I haven’t been ready…emotionally or physically. Then there is the wacky situation of our finances right now too. Our business has been slow for a year now and I struggle with feeling worried about that. Is it responsible to have another baby right now? Can I afford the birth if I have to have another C-section?

If I got pregnant right now, my kids would be more like 3 years apart. That’s WAY off my schedule, and I’m not even a schedule person. haha…seriously. I feel anxiety about it sometimes. I guess I’m writing this post in hopes that I can just let it go and trust God that things will happen when they are supposed to happen.

I’m having so much fun right now with my little guy, I really should just focus on that. Of course, it’s so easy to focus on what I don’t have or what’s not happening in my life. He is such a joy and full of laughter. He constantly brightens my day when I’m feeling down. He knows when I’m having a hard time and showers me with extra cuddles and kisses. He is a little lover for sure.

I suppose also if I never have another kid, I would be fine with that too. It’s not my dream for the future, but for right now I am going to just be grateful for the dream I am living right now. I’m so thankful for my littlc munchkin and the fun we have everyday!

For now, I will just be the best Mommy I can be….and also go cuddle my friends little ones when they arrive. 🙂

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  1. I think when you are ready then it will be the right time, regardless of how old the little munchkin is 🙂 I think age difference between siblings is not truly important. I have two older brothers, the oldest of whom is six years older and he’s the one that I get along with the best… even as children, we’d team up on our middle brother, who was only 3 years older than me.

    Owen is almost 21 months now and the hubby and I are just starting to talk about having another one, but are in no rush. Honestly, having Owen potty trained before I start diapers with a newborn sounds pretty good to me 🙂

  2. My second sister and I are three years apart and the third sister is four years apart from the second. I’m sure two years works wonderfully for many families, but for us, the three and four year spacing was perfect. It made me a much more thoughtful and responsible older sister… we were far enough apart that instead of being jealous, we were simply excited to have a friend and more conscious about various changes. No matter when it happens, there are benefits and detriments.

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