Posted in Birth Stories, Blog, Mother, Posts for mommies-to-be, Rebecca, Recovering from childbirth, Still pregnant?

My story: chapter 8

Ok so the reason I’m splitting all this up into chapters is because I have a kid. There is no possible way I could write all this out in one post. A.) it would be too long and B.) I don’t have that kind of time all in one chunk.

Where was I? Oh yeah….

Around 9:00pm
I’m in the tub, at 9.5cm, and already pushing. Let me remind you I had no urge to push, just the leading from the midwife that I could if wanted to. Who says that? Anyway….I started to push. This went on for about 20 min or so.

We decided it was time for me to get out of the tub for a while. I’d been in there for quite some time and they wanted me to try some other positions. I went to the bed and they decided to check me once more since I was almost at 10 cm.

“Oh, that’s not good,” says the midwife while she’s checking me.

What is going on? What does that mean? (I’m freaking out here.) Talk to me people!

“Ummmm, well this is interesting. You are back down to 7 cm and your cervix is extremely swollen.”

Sorry??? What the hell does that mean? How do you “go back”? I’ve never heard of that before. Well so much for all the happy positive energy we had been feeling since I started labor. It was completely gone now.

I asked, “So what happens now? Why am I swollen? How do I get unswollen so I can get back to 10 cm? How long is this gonna take??”

Basically they didn’t explain anything to me, just that we would have to “wait and see what happens”. Only time would make the swelling go down, and they also gave me homeopathics to help. There would be no baby coming out that way while my cervix was that swollen.

Now, I didn’t try to connect any dots at the time. I was in labor and as you all know, it kind of turns into an out of body experience after a while. Later I would find out from doctors at the hospital that my cervix swelled because I started pushing too early, and way before my body was ready. (Thanks a lot, I’m thinking. I wouldn’t have done that on my own.)

The next few hours were pretty terrible. The midwives left us alone and I labored in the dark with my husband by my side. I can’t tell you how bad this sucked. Now I knew I wasn’t making progress and contractions and the pain were getting worse and more intense. I lost control of my emotions and wasn’t thinking good thoughts. I was disappointed and sad. I tried not to think too far ahead but thoughts crept in about hospital transfers and scary surgeries.

I was losing energy fast. With no rest, no IV, and lots of puking still going on, I was feeling drained and exhausted.

Around 2:30 am
The next thing I remember was being in the bathroom laboring on the toilet. The midwife came in and started a conversation about transferring to the hospital. She just wanted to be open about our options and remind us that if we wanted to go, we’d need to remember it would be a while before I’d be there and checked in. (This was important especially if I had wanted to get an epideral.)

I was ready to go. I told my husband, “Yes, let’s go. I’m done here. I don’t have anything left to give.” Then he says, “Would you commit to give just one more hour? Please?” If you know my husband, this makes total sense that he would say this. 🙂

“Honey,” I said, “I could give one more hour but I don’t want to. I’m done.”

With that, he started to walk out of the bathroom to go tell the midwives. On his way out, (and important to note here that I don’t remember saying this at all) I stopped him and said, “Wait. Ok, I’ll do just one more hour.”

The midwives were excited I decided to stay. However, I still had no energy and could barely walk around the room. They got an IV going in me and after only a few minutes, I started to feel better. Man, now I can see the beauty of that IV. Where was it all this time?

Since they were also tired, they had called in a friend of theirs that was a doula. She had just arrived and was energetic and fresh. She brought in some new energy that was much needed for all of us. She suggested we go on a few walks outside to try and make some progress.

I got my robe on, my husband held my IV, and she held my silver bowl and my arm. (Ummmm, do I need to tell you what the bowl was for? Ok good.) SLOWLY, we walked around back, up this enormous staircase, across, and then back down the stairs. With each contraction, I would lean on Sara and do the slow dance, moaning and howling at the moon. Ok, not so much directly at the moon. LOL.

I distinctly remember her smelling familiar to me. This sounds weird, I know. Don’t judge. She smelled like my bed at home, like all my blankets and my pillow. It was so odd. Every time we stopped to slow dance. I had my face buried in her shoulder and I remember feeling so much comfort by her smell. Weird huh?

K moving on….after we got back from the first walk, they checked me. YAHOO. I had progressed to 9 cm. The walks were working!!!!  I had forgotten that I only agreed to stay one more hour. I supposed I felt a little hope that I had made some progress.

Sara suggested one more walk and then after that, hopefully I’d be at 10 cm and ready to push, for real this time. I didn’t want to walk anymore, but if it meant I could push after that and finally be done, then fine. I’d have done anything at that point.

The only thing I remember on the last walk is my husband saying to me, “honey, hear the birds singing? Those are the same ones you love to hear in the morning outside our window.” And of course my loving response was, “just shut up.” Nice eh?

Finally done with our second walk, the midwives checked one final time and HALLELUJAH! I was at 10 cm. Almost on cue, I started feeling the urge to push. And my childbirth teacher was so right, you just know the feeling when it comes.

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