Posted in Birth Stories, Blog, Mother, Posts for mommies-to-be, Rebecca, Recovering from childbirth, Still pregnant?

My story: Chapter 3

After I met my husband, things changed. Maybe things didn’t change, but I changed. And I would credit my husband for the change, except it doesn’t work that way. You can’t change another person.

As I slowly fell in love with my husband (and I’m not kidding, it was slow). I didn’t fall head over heels in love instantly. We became friends, then best friends. And then he became this man I couldn’t live without. There was no over the top romance. No games. No fancy dates. We just hung out and talked.

He wanted me to see who he truly was. Over time, I did. And he also saw who I was. As we connected on an authentic level, I cared less about the romance. (because what girl doesn’t want romance?) But it wasn’t about that. I looked forward to each conversation. each date. I longed to be around him and hear his thoughts. Hear his passions. Hear about his dreams. And of course, I loved sharing mine with him too.

The topic of kids came up a few times. I was honest about how I felt, I didn’t want any. He never exclaimed his surprise or said I was weird. It was more like, “well if we end up together, we can talk about that later. It will work out.” I didn’t care about talking about it, I just absolutely trusted him with my heart. And honestly didn’t care if we got married and he then told me he wanted 7 kids. I just knew I wanted to be with him and the details didn’t matter.

I spent a lot of time thinking that I could either have kids and raise a family OR I could fulfill all my dreams. But the two didn’t mix and I couldn’t have both. I truly wonder where I got that thinking from. Who taught me that? You can do this OR that, but not both. Either. OR.

I started realizing (as I met people that defied the norm) that I could do both. What I had to change was my thinking. I had to see having a family as PART of my purpose, not something that would get in my way to achieving my purpose. I finally realized what my mentor had meant.

If I had ONE purpose on earth to make a difference, it would be with them. One on one connection is where the real stuff of life happens. Not in front of a crowd of 100,000 people. It’s eye to eye, heart to heart. Listening and loving. Teaching and learning. Physical touch.

All of a sudden, I couldn’t wait to have a baby. It was a perfect transition. My heart was now open.

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