Posted in Blog, Emotional wellness, Friends, Life as a mom, Mother, Recovering from childbirth, Shawna

Yummy mummies and other lame names

I have had it with this whole Yummy Mummy- Hot Mama-MILF thing. Are we really supposed to be empowered that people still find us attractive even though we’ve given birth to a kid or two? Should it really be that surprising, when the average American woman has her first child at 25, that she is still good looking? It just seems like the weirdest and most sexist insult/compliment ever.

Do we go out of our way to note whether an attractive man has had kids? There is no yummy mummy equivalent for men. And why is that? Because of course attractive men are attractive after having a kid, and previously unattractive men may even end up hot as well (I don’t know about you, but I think the Baby Bjorn is the cutest male accessory ever, but I digress…).

I get that often motherhood comes with pregnancy, and pregnancy comes with a little extra weight. But it usually also comes with glowing skin, thicker hair and bigger boobs, so I’m not really sure it’s a net negative at all in the hotness department.

The phrase “mom jeans” fits into this new screwed-up lexicon as well. What the heck are mom jeans?? Does that just mean that they’re jeans worn by people after childhood? Or is it an attempt at nicely saying chubby jeans? Or frumpy jeans?

This whole thing is just so telling of all the strange hang-ups about female sexuality we have in our society. Once you’re a mom (which almost always involves sex), you lose some of your hotness. That is just assumed and that is just ridiculous. Pregnancy gives us this huge gift: A reason to really love and appreciate our bodies, along with the miracle of life and the joys of mothering. And them, Bam! that fledgling confidence is snapped right up.

We are taught our whole lives to want to be sexy, to want to play up our most, um, womanly characteristics. But once those body parts get used for their actual purpose, it’s like they’re disgusting. It is just so sad.

Don’t even get me started on MILF. I mean, seriously, I hear that phrase and I feel like running for the pepper spray. It’s like Yummy mummy, but with an extra dose of creepy thrown in for good measure. I feel violated every time I hear it.

I personally think that motherhood has made me sexier. I already had plenty of curves so it’s not really any physical difference. I’m just happier, more confident and more present on this planet. I even enjoy sex more (though I did not enjoy it much at all for the first six months after childbirth, to be perfectly honest) because I see now that my body is this amazing life-giving, life-sustaining force. Plus, my hubby is such a yummy daddy!

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